Dave (a.k.a. Brainfreeze)

     But have you ever noticed that super heroes… they all have these incredible powers… Everyone is SUPER strong, SUPER fast, AMAZINGLY Tough. Some are refugees from another planet, some are genetic freaks and others are bitten by radioactive insects…but they all have one thing in common. They are super. (another pause) But not me. You see, I am a super hero of sorts…or at least super powered.. A few years ago, when I was in high school I was working on my research project for my sophomore English class… I was at my computer when lightning hit our house. It was one of those blasts that pretty much wrecks anything plugged in…anyways… I felt the electricity shoot from the keyboard through my hands and right into my brain. I let go and when my mom came into the room to check on me I was laying on the ground and I was changed.  

(He struggles to figure out how to explain it now)

      So here I am, on the floor.. I was fine, but things were different. I can’t really explain it, but I could feel inside my mother’s mind. I couldn’t really do anything about it…I couldn’t tell what she was thinking…but I could feel inside her head just like it was a part of my own body. At first I thought I was imagining it, but when my dad got home I could feel his mind too… and my sister’s… It was like I could feel the energy there, but that was all. I thought I had hit the jackpot… maybe I could read minds! Maybe this blessing would let me control the thoughts or actions of those around me! But try as I might, none of that happened. Months of experimenting and disappointment… just when I thought that I could do nothing to affect the minds that I could so vividly feel I found my “calling.”

(Pause)

     Lightning rained down from the heavens and chose me for this gift. I have super powers…or a super power. Simply put, I can give your ass an ice cream headache. No one is safe from me!!! (he laughs lightly)  You could be shopping for sweat pants, or eating a fine meal but if I take a disliking to you BOOM!!! For the next 5-10 seconds your head is going to hurt like you’ve been wolfing down a slushee at Mach 3.  So there you have it folks, I am still open for interviews for any local super teams hiring, or I can free-lance if you have any needs specific to my skill set. (seeing someone about to laugh) Dude…don’t even think about laughing at that. (he sets a stare and touches his temple) Do you need an example of my power??? (he laughs again, to himself…kinda sadly as he walks off)